Monster Corp

Posted: September 19, 2011 in 1 Heart, Uncategorized

Have you ever played Zoo Tycoon or one of the various clones? Then you understand the basic concept behind Monster Corp. Basically, it starts out with a very Jurassic Park-esque intro sequence in which it is revealed that the fossils of ancient monsters have been discovered and the scientists have begun extracting DNA from them to clone the creatures. Obviously, the next step is that you open a zoo to exhibit these monsters. Because clearly, there is nothing wrong with opening a zoo containing giant horrible bloodthirsty monsters. This clearly won’t end in terrible, right?

So, basically you have this little room that they keep calling a museum but it looks much more like a zoo, given that it has live animal…monster…things. You have to make sure you keep food and such stocked. You also have to keep cleaners and such on the payroll to make sure they keep your monster cages clean.

So, then you start in and realize just how unintuitive the interface is. I’m pretty sure that it has stopped  acknowledging any times that I send people out to explore for new fossils. They seem to be charging me the money but not giving me any DNA. Also, both of my monsters just died from neglect while I was writing this. I’m not entirely sure how the goals work in this game. They seem to keep giving me more goals to achieve despite the fact that I haven’t completed the earlier ones.

My favorite part of this comedy of errors is the grammar. I’m pretty sure the designer was translating their dialogue using an electronic translator. The word choice and grammar only get better in the help screens and such.

Over all, this game is hilariously bad. The story doesn’t make sense, the grammar and writing are atrocious and the mechanics didn’t make any sense. The graphics were kind of cute…I guess. The music was repetitive and kind of hurt after a while. I’m really sad to say it, but I feel like this might be the worst I’ve ever slammed a game, this might be worse than Kitty Spangles, which is impressive in a terrible kind of way. In conclusion, like the aforementioned nightmare of my gaming, Monster Corp has earned 1 out of 5 hearts.

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